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Just been reviewing my past bloggings.
A lot has happened in these past 4 years.
I've changed.
I've stayed the same.
I don't know. Perhaps only pple will be able to tell me that instead of pages of writing.
But then again, I beg to differ.
Sometimes it's only you who knows your true self.
Once you enter university.
Everyone starts talking about the future.
Graduation. Marriage. Jobs. Houses. Cars. The likes.
Suddenly life becomes reality.
It's no longer just about scoring A's in exams, or coming in top in your class.
It's about survival.
it's about surviving each year and making it to the next.
it's about making a name for yourself and keeping it.
It's about becoming a better someone. And maybe even a complete someone else.
I think that amidst all this talk of change and survival it's important to strive to be able to let ourselves as individuals survive the impending change that we plan to put ourselves through.
If we cannot be comfortable with ourselves, we cannot be comforatble with others or make others feel comfortable with us.
If we cannot find happiness within our being, then will we be fit to show others happiness?
If we don't respect ourselves, how are able to respect others around us?
When it comes to relationships should we not be asking ourselves why we go into a relationship?
Is it love? Is it for convenience sake? Is it to fill the loneliness in our souls? Or is it to fill the prying eyes of our peers?
I am surrounded by desperation.
I empathise and respect the desperation I see in my patient's eyes, because it is through them that you will be able to see the strength of the desire to survive.
But I curse and look upon with disdain at the desperation of those who yearn for binding relationship with another just so that they can feel whole and desired.
It is disrespectful. It is revolting.
It is insulting to the strength that the human spirit can call upon in times of loneliness and futility. To run to another for assurance and affirmation when you can find these within yourself is distasteful.
Perhaps in a years time I will look back upon this and wonder why this was written.
But for now.... I rest my case.